quotes from this week

"it's like calling McDonald's for a problem with Walmart!" - Lauren to a caller who kept complaining about another company.

"awesome! half of my closet is Ann Taylor." - Brendan, after hearing that his girlfriend got an interview at Ann Taylor.

"your face is freaking me out!" - Lisa talking about Emma Watson.

"is it friday yet? oh wait, yes it is!" - me. because my department has decided to throw thursdays out the window and have two fridays. today is friday v1.0. how do you like them apples?

today's lunch

today's lunch was awesome because i used my hot pot to boil noodles in water. i feel super resourceful.
i wish i had taken pictures, but my hot pot looks like this:


yeah. it was fun, i promise.




word of the day: notate

quote of the week: "my daughter goes to the doctor on a regular periodical basis so she needs the coverage worser than i do."

random urban sentence: that lady got out of pocket, so i got in my bag on her.

bumper stickers

 i was driving myself home from work yesterday (my carpool buddy has been sick since Sunday), and i noticed the bumper stickers on other cars -- and almost didn't notice a couple of red lights that are supposed to tell me that the driver is hitting the brakes on that car, so i should probably do likewise. so then i thought, why do people like to plaster the back of their vehicles with bumper stickers? 

my conclusions: 

   1.   people with one or two little bumper stickers or decals are just trying to tell the world who they are while we all drive on this road called life, which so often puts labels (like Chevy or Lexus) on us that lead to stereotypes that we don't necessarily fall under or want to fall under. so, these people make it easier for the rest of us and label themselves! 

i would probably fall into this category, since right now, i'm a really old, beat up toyota driver with a PBU Faculty/Staff decal on my right rear window and an EZ-Pass in my windshield, which says that i'm poor but i work. i'm a Christian, but i'm trying not to be annoying about it. i actually have two window cling-ons for PBU and for WXPN, and i've been thinking about putting them on my windows for a few months, but i'm just not sure i want people knowing that, because i once had a bad experience in college with a few Bush/Cheney posters and a van driver who was obviously voting for the other guy. he cut me off, braked hard in front of me, and threw papers at my car -- all in the middle of rush hour on the PA turnpike. 

   2.   people with a wall of bumper stickers on the back of their car, in their windows, etc. need to calm down. yes, now i know exactly who you are and what you're about. i know which politician you support, i know if you're a hippie, and i know what you think of God. it's like all the things that you're not supposed to talk about at the dinner table, you ARE supposed to lay out on your car so that people you don't know can know it. seems a little passive-aggressive to me.

   3.   anyway, the real conclusion is this: people that fall in category #2 are the smart cookies of our society. they know that people are easily distracted (even when they're doing the most dangerous everyday thing they could possibly be doing) and that the auto insurance system and police are on their side in some major, undercover conspiracy theory that must involve money and oil and terrorism. i just know it. what happens is, drivers are too busy reading the crazy bumper stickers on the back of this car that say clever things and may or may not contradict each other, you're too busy contemplating this person's take on the meaning of life through the collage of stickers you've chosen, to concentrate on the road. they brake hard, and BAM! now you've hit this car and don't even care what they're stupid bumper stickers reveal about the person they really are, or how smart their child is, or where they go on vacation. you now have to deal with causing this car accident, and, most likely, there are other cars involved, too (they might have bumper stickers, but you don't care to read those, either), and it's all your fault. 

a fun thing i just found

hot as hades

so, on the way out of work today, i waived 'bye to my co-worker, and she yelled "it's hot as hell out here!" now, i'm usually upset at people who use words like "hell" or "ass" out of their proper contexts. (fyi, i was an english ed. major in college, and i probably would have studied linguistics if i knew myself better in high school.) anyway, "hot as hell" seems pretty appropriate. hell may very well be 102*F with 29% humidity.

also, please use "ass load" properly. my well-meaning (usually Christian) friends say "butt load" and just look like fools. i promise, it's "ass load" -- as in, a donkey can carry a lot of stuff.

punching bag

so, my manager keeps a punching bag in his office. well, it's not really a bag... it's a focus mitt and it helps us get our aggression out without yelling at the customers we talk to all day.

just now, a supervisor from another department was frustrated and walked over to our department to ask, "where is the punching bag?" i mean, you have to know her for it to be really funny, because she is tall, slender, and pretty much should be a model instead of working in an insurance company. yes, she punched the focus mitt, while i was holding it. and then Bob from Accounting walked in and looked very confused. i was laughing so hard, it was hard to hold up the mitt.

also, my manager isn't in today. luckily, the key to my office is also the key to his office. we're a team like that.